I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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