if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
