i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize