She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
