When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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