everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
