You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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