Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
wow bdsm is so cute
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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