You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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