do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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