I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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