My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
