Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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