I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
