would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
