I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
