I can text with my tongue
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize