hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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