I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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