Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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