You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
