Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
