My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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