He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
