I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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