Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
