I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Someone signed my nipple.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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