Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
