So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
