I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Watching her eat just hurts me
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
