It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
