It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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