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the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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