At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
