Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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