Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
