Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize