I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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