im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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