Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You took a bar mat shot.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
