I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
