if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
