i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
