I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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