This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
