i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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