im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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