Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
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Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
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Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect