i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
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