Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??