I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
