I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
All I want is dick and wine.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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