i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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