I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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