I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
