I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
