i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize