I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize