are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
