no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
