the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
