I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
